Paul Blart: Mall Cop

What the hell is wrong with directors these days? Watch this movie and you will scream out, "How is that possibly logical?" several times. Kevin James was probably doing this movie as a favor to someone otherwise I don't believe he is suicidal. 

I really don't understand how a little girl can enter a mall surrounded by cops and SWAT from all sides. Moreover, I don't understand how a man with a chilli ketchup bottle can defeat another man with a gun. Also, why the stupidest people on earth would rob a mall. 

This movie will make you wonder all of the above and more. 

My Rating: C

Terminator: Salvation

By the way, I got a call from John Connor himself from the future, and he says that there were 6 terminator movies made in all. The last two were called Terminator: Almost and Terminator: Finally. 

There is no real point in just stretching a particular storyline just because it makes money. I am a huge Terminator fan. I love the concept, it's so unique. Something that I love the Matrix for as well. But this movie doesn't really prove that progress is being made by mankind towards survival. Even the story of this movie kind of reminds you of the previous adventures of Connor. Same shit, new sequel. The special effects are A-grade. They won't disappoint you, and you might even enjoy the movie and say that its a nice, one-time watch. I would recommend changing the name of the movie in that case because I expect much much more from a Terminator film. 

Bale does fine as Connor. But what this movie needed was a Cameroon touch, desperately. Terminator 2 just had a touch of genius stamped all over it. T2 made 204 million at the box office. I think this one will scrape through and reach one hundred. 

And now, John Connor is having a baby... amazing! Elasticity at its best!! 

My Rating: B-

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

The reason I thought that film-makers were willing to make X-Men Origin based movies was for the likes of Halle Berry and Hugh Jackman. After watching the movie, I realized that they actually wanted to tell their tales. Personally, I don't think anybody other than Wolverine or Jene Gray have stories worth telling. 

The movie blends in with the whole X-Men ensemble. But serious questions can be asked about the whereabouts of Magneto and/or why they had to use a double for Patrick Stewart. The flick is entertaining on the whole. Jackman and Schreiber do justice to Wolverine and Sabertooth respectively. 

Some alterations have been made to the script, so most X-Men fans will easily spot the useless pieces of junk added here and there. They've made a movie, not told the exact tale. The flick does a good job as a stand-alone film. 

My Rating: B+

He's just not that into you

Getting a huge star cast and trying to educate people about dating and love isn't the best way to make a successful film. I think the makers of He's just not that into you started seeing improvement in their love lives after they saw Love Actually or some other educational movie about love. I think so did the cast. You can see the cast make an effort though. The preformances by Bradley Cooper and Ginnifer Goodwin stand out the most.

Even the dumbest person on the planet has the scope to learn more from his or her own experiences than by watching this movie. The fact of the matter is that there is no triumph over cupid. Nothing can be figured out.

My Rating: C+

Angels and Demons

Being the movie buff that I am, I thought it would be a good idea to warn the movie-goers through this medium. I easily watch at least 20 movies in a month. So, I have decided to review each movie that I see via short-and-sweet summaries followed by a rating. 

Robert Langdon is the luckiest idiot on the planet. In Angels and Demons, whatever he looks at turns to clues. I liked Da Vinci Code more than this flick, coz this has been made more into a Hero-vs-Villian type saga. Ewan McGregor has done a phenomenal job. He is one of the rare chameleon actors that the industry has. The problem is that he doesn't get offered a decent number of good movies. I have full faith in Tom Hanks and Ron Howard. They are the top-draw. Their attempts are noteworthy, but cannot save this film from a mediocre script. 

I would spend 20 hours with Dan Brown rather than 2 hours with Howard for sure.

My Rating: B-

Make Chai Not War

It's been exactly a month since my last blog post. I've been busy and the perfect example of lethargy for a month now. Thankfully, I got some work done. The abstract for my research paper was submitted 5 hours before the deadline (on Friday, 24th April), after countless grammatical checks and chants. 

This Friday was special though. I was basking in the post-submission era (few hours) and the weekend had arrived. The Indian Graduate Students Association (IGSA) had collaborated with numerous other organizations to host a multi-ethnic stand-up comedy show called "Make Chai Not War". I would have attended this event even if I wasn't the president of IGSA and was living a few miles off-campus. 

The event brought together three big Indian stand-up comedians namely Azhar Usman, Rajiv Satyal and Paul Varghese. Each had their own style and approach towards race and humor. But they were hilarious entertainers. I haven't been at a comedy show in months, it almost made me forget my once-upon-a-time ambition of trying stand-up. 

Someone even tried to videotape the show on their mobile phone, but Azhar caught them. That was funny! She kept the camera fixated at what he was saying, she just wouldn't stop recording. That's when I wondered whether the fact that the show is being recorded or not has an impact on the performers. It's like U2 performing at Slane Castle or Rammstein recording the Volkerball. They made sure it was top notch, or did they decide to record it into a DVD after they had performed?

I noticed that all of them spoke to most of the audience after the show, asking them their names, including me. I wondered if they would really remember everybody. One part of me felt like it was a PR thingy, the other part said that it's normal human approach to want to know who you are talking to. I personally thanked all of them after the show and made sure that I had found a way to stay in touch with each of them personally. The other organizers shared my goal to bring them back next year along with some bigger names. If we manage to get Russell Peters, that would be something big. I even noticed that there were no comedy clubs on campus dedicated to stage-comedy. And so began my thoughts on founding one. 

Going Down

The recession is hitting every part of the world, every industry. But I hear that the public service industry is the least affected. Good times for them! 

One major industry is lying wounded is Aviation. The projected loss for aviation was x billion for this year. But yesterday the projection touched 2x billion for 2009. I've been closely watching the numbers rise and fall. Never seen them go so low. 

After 9/11, the aviation industry got divided into three groups financially. Today's economy is the ultimate test for them.

Firstly, the companies that suffered a minor loss after 9/11, they are still managing to survive today's abyss. They have found a way around the dollars and are waiting for the high tide to wash their tears away.

The second group got hit bad after 9/11. These companies have started panicking today. They are laying off employees, deferring aircraft orders and reducing capacity. They have made tough decisions and found a way to cling on. 

The third group faced a crisis the moment those planes crashed into the world trade center and it's sad to say that they were in crisis up until a few months ago. It just never stopped. Most of these companies have gone bankrupt, Eclipse aviation is the best example, and the rest are heading towards bankruptsy as the months go by. 

Overall, the North American market is better placed if compared to the European market. This is solely due to the stability of the oil prices in USA. 

The way I see it, either the recession will end first or the oil prices will erupt due to volatility. Either way there will be a huge shift in numbers from east to west. How this affects and bothers me is as follows. Three months ago I set out to collect as much data as possible. I read articles, papers, airport data, predictions, projections etc. I had my facts right and numbers circled. But the timing of the recession and my thesis are a work of Murphy. These numbers and projections can be thrown out the window now. There will be new shit everyday and that could potentially harm my research. Approximately 367 papers have been written on the increase in air traffic over the next 15 years. Suddenly, they don't make sense. What happens this year will define the next 15 years of air travel. 

The founding of the Unofficial

March 5th 1803.

Niclas: I just got a call from him. We need to pay up by next month, or else we are all dead. 

Patrick: How the hell are we going to come up with so much money in so little time?

Romney: We shouldn't have borrowed the money in the first place, that too from such a dangerous man.

Patrick: Oh, quit whinning!

Romney: Shut up!

Niclas: How much money do each of you have?

Romney: 35 grand.

Patrick: 20 grand.

Niclas: And I have 30 grand. That means we are still 105 grand short.

Patrick: Why don't we sell our houses or businesses?

Romney: Are you crazy? We won't make that much anyway and we will become complete beggars.

Niclas: He's right, Pat.

Patrick: Well, I have an idea. But it's crazy.

Niclas: Anything will do in such a situation.

Patrick: Well, what if we come up with a strategy which will enable us to earn a lot of money in a single day.

Romney: If you're talking about something illigal, then I must remind you that we are wanted for a lot of crimes in a lot of countries.

Patrick: No, no. Nothing illegal. 

Niclas: What do you mean? Elaborate.

Patrick: If we tell the people that tomorrow they must use products made by us, we can earn a fortune.

Niclas: Who the hell would want to buy so many t-shirts from me? And how the hell will you two make money out of your businesses?

Romney: I don't even want to live in Windsor anymore.

Patrick: We can tell them that tomorrow is a national holiday. They will believe us. They need to buy a lot of liquor and t-shirts. We can have a particular brand of t-shirts made just for this day. We can have this event in different countries on different days.

Niclas: That doesn't sound half bad.

Patrick: Since you don't want to live in Windsor anymore, Rom, you could go to USA and sell the products.

Romney: I'm not sure about this.

Patrick: Trust me. I will supply you with the liquor and alcohol. Niclas will supply the t-shirts. We can target USA and UK.

Romney: Hmm.

Niclas: What would the holiday be called?

Patrick: Well, since I came up with this, I'll call it St.Patrick's Day. Rom can choose whatever name he wants in the USA. But I doubt whether a St.Romney's Day would be appealing enough.

Romney: The USA won't allow such an official holiday. I'll call it the unofficial.

Niclas: Sounds like a good plan to get people to wear the same t-shirts we sell, and drunk for no goddamn reason. This will be our cash-camel.

Aid

One of the biggest decisions to make as an international student is about your future. 

There are those who have taken loans and think about repaying them after they land a job. Then there are those who need to get back home to take care of their parents, because there's no one else. The ones who want to make money abroad and save enough to take back home to start a family. The ones who want to work, live and love away from their homeland. 

As graduation nears, that's one of the questions I will need to address. Even though I keep saying that I'll decide as and when the day comes, I know that at least some planning needs to be done in advance. 

I don't have an assistantship as yet, so most of my decisions are financially motivated at times. I even give out this blog address to my prospective bosses, wherever needed. I hope they find this post. Aid from the university always helps a student. A lot will depend upon whether I get aid this semester or not. My graduation date. My future plans. My next lapdance. :P

One of the courses I’m taking this semester is Cockpit and Crew Resource Management. It deals with communication and utilization of all resources by the cabin crew.

We were shown a video today in class to highlight the importance of following procedure. The captain and flight engineer were old buddies and had flown together before. The first-officer, however, was new to the game. They prepared for approach, and the captain was very slow and nonresponsive. The first officer immediately noticed that they were below the glidepath. He pointed it out to the captain. At this time, the engineer asks the captain, “Hey Jim, what’s the difference between a first officer and a duck?” The pilot seemed to think about it for a few seconds and then said, “I don’t know. What is it?” The engineer then replies with a smirk on his face, “Well, a duck can fly”. They both giggle about it in front of the first officer. The aim of this joke was to put the first officer back in place. They wanted to show him who was in charge.

The plane crashed a few minutes later due to an unstabilized initial approach. The first officer’s last words as recorded on tape were, “I told you so Jim”.