Parity

This is one of the posts that I'd only hoped I would write one day. It was an If..Then scenario. And writing such a post is never easy.

When I got admitted to the University of Illinois at Urbana Champaign, I was so elated. Little did I know what was in store for me as a grad student. In this country, a grad student is supposed to work twice-thrice as much as an undergrad. A grad student is supposed to sleep for less than 8 hours a night. Every department computer lab and study hall will have at least one grad student in it even at 3am. This post describes it really well. 

The transition from Russia to USA was made really easy by all my friends here and I never really had any problems with food, shelter. I was so used to just showing up for classes and doing research in Russia, that I forgot that there are more things to being a student. 

My first semester was a disaster. Thanks to lots of mistakes on my end. A grad student in my (Aerospace) department needs to maintain a cumulative GPA of 3.0. Mine was a 2.22. Yes, pathetic, screwed up, lowly,... 

Probation, was the word that I became familiar with in May 2008 after the results came out. I started asking myself serious questions and understanding what is required to succeed in a particular course. Each course has its own demands and rituals. Some require you to just present 3 presentations in the span of 4 months and you get your grade. Some have 2 midterms plus homework plus a final exam. What I realized is that every course, every professor, every chapter has to be aproached in a different way. I was still on Russian time. 

For the next months, I started understanding what academic probation really means and the different petitions associated with it. I had to get my GPA back up to 3.0. For that, I would need excellent grades in all my courses to get the average back to the required. Failure to obtain the GPA would mean removal from the university.

I decided to take 4 courses, one more than needed, just in case. I have to admit there were many instances where I thought that there is absolutely no chance I could make it. I was against all odds. The person betting hundred dollars on me would actually become a millionaire. Even the look in my academic advisors eyes told me that he wasn't confident enough. Yet, he recommended a few courses. I took two of them but the other two I changed. Little did I know that at the end of the semester I would be looking back at the choice of my courses and the addition of the fourth course with absolute marvel. 

I had a lot at stake and I knew it. I loved this place, the people, the university. My friends had become my family and I had no backup plan in place. I was even the president of the Indian Graduate Students Association. I really didn't feel like losing all of that. 

Hardwork and dedication are mandatory. But even sacrifices have to be made. That's what I did different from the previous semester. Trying to tackle 4 courses along with 2 part-time on-campus jobs became a routine and weekdays became my workout. I just hoped that at the end of the semester I had something to show for.

23rd December came quick. The grades were out and my blood pressure was over the roof. As I checked them with Pragni, Omkar and Pallavi trying to calm me down, I realized that none of what I had done throughout the semester would matter if this didn't work out. And I knew that Pinky too was thinking whether I made it or not while vacationing in India.

3.73 and my cumulative was up to 3.06 

Parity was restored.

It's amazing how the smallest things people say make the biggest of difference, the way they stand by you defines your relationship with them. They affect your confidence and give you added incentive. And every word has made the difference in the past months.

It's been a week since I saw the grades and I still am wondering what I would have done if they had let me down. I started receiving quite some praise which I hadn't heard for at least a year. One of my professors even called it "A terrific achievement" which sounded really flattering, but made me proud. All Pinky asked me online was "In or Out?" and all Pragni said to me was "I never doubted you one bit. Never."

Welcome to the Real World

.... a world where your life can change radically in a split second

... where the smartest person in the world is on a wheelchair and all he can use is his brain.

... where a marathon winner comes home to the news that his diabetes has taken a decision to cut his leg off.

..... where all a hardworking man needs is to come home to his family and remember why his ass is red and his hands are rough.

...... where you could lie on the bed staring at the ceiling late in the night even though you haven't slept for days.

..... where a letter of recommendation can get you into a relationship.

...... where the other line always moves faster.

.... where you realize that you could lose everything you cared for tomorrow, or maybe the day after.

..... where the world will not let you think.

..... where you are as faithful as your options.

..... where you are given two weeks notice.

... where criminals run countries.

... where a three hour exam doesn't show how smart you are, but how slow you are.

.... where the total amount of good and bad follows no proportionality theorems.

.... where you can feel all the pressure in the world....and some more.

.... where every second counts.

.... where time is money and poverty is a viscious circle.

... where viscious is spelt vicious in google, or maybe the previous spelling is actually wrong.

... where one mistake could end it all.

.... where an MIT gold medalist dies of stress and high blood pressure at 26.

.... where you either get rich or die trying.

.... where the originality of an idea is directly proportional to the time you take to write it down.

.... where you live on the basement level in Crap Villa.

.... where your love interest will either sleep with your best friend or not get along with them.

.... where what goes around comes around and around to choke the hell out of you.

.... where you realize that you have been happy all this while, only to think that you're the saddest person alive at that moment.

... where you get dumped for being fat/ugly/tall/short/hairy/bitchy/sterile/obtuse/poor...... 

.... where life kicks you in different places at different times but you can't kick it back.

.... where everything comes to an end.... even this blog post.

You're welcome!

:)