Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Top 10 things guys think about when they pee

Presenting an idea that originated in the weirdest of places, while doing one of the most liberating things a guy can do standing.

I've also decided that I will be making a section called "My Top 10", something to give "Him and Her" a run for it's money.

So, here are the Top 10 things guys think about when they pee (according to me, at least)

10. Gosh, this place stinks. But at least it's cleaner than my toilet in the hostel.

9. Flow velocity is equal to flow rate divided by flow area.

8. How can people even think about drinking this to remain healthy? I pity the astronauts, but at least they are going to be recycling it.

7. Just because I started before him, doesn't mean that I should finish before him.

6. Why can't I concentrate?

5. C'mon, aim for the center of the bowl!!

4. Could I move one of those naphthalene balls with the pee-force?

3. I would have asked him how he's enjoying the game, except that we are not at one.

2. I'm free!!

1. Am I awake? (Always better to check)

Friday, November 7, 2008

Him and Her - 3

Her: I love you!
Him: I love you too!
Her: You know, I've wanted you to be the one for me since forever. Ever since I've known you.
Him: That's the liquor talking. When I ask you tomorrow, you won't admit to have said this.
Her: Because I'm scared. But I want this. I want this forever.
Him: Why can't you tell me all this when you're not high?
Her: Sometimes you behave like you don't care.
Him: I always care. I just get angry and I pretend to not care.

(pause)

Her: (falls asleep on the couch)
Him: Let's go to bed.
Her: I don't like you.
Him: Why?
Her: Coz you won't let me sleep. No, but I wasn't sleeping.
Him: (giggles) You're drunk and you need sleep.
Her: (angry) I'm not drunk and I wasn't sleeping
Him: Okay! You're slightly influenced by alcohol. It's late. Let's go inside and sleep.
Her: Why can't I go to sleep while the video?
Him: What? You're talking nonsense again, in your sleep.
Her: (snores)
Him: (picks her up and takes her to bed)