Parity

This is one of the posts that I'd only hoped I would write one day. It was an If..Then scenario. And writing such a post is never easy.

When I got admitted to the University of Illinois at Urbana Champaign, I was so elated. Little did I know what was in store for me as a grad student. In this country, a grad student is supposed to work twice-thrice as much as an undergrad. A grad student is supposed to sleep for less than 8 hours a night. Every department computer lab and study hall will have at least one grad student in it even at 3am. This post describes it really well. 

The transition from Russia to USA was made really easy by all my friends here and I never really had any problems with food, shelter. I was so used to just showing up for classes and doing research in Russia, that I forgot that there are more things to being a student. 

My first semester was a disaster. Thanks to lots of mistakes on my end. A grad student in my (Aerospace) department needs to maintain a cumulative GPA of 3.0. Mine was a 2.22. Yes, pathetic, screwed up, lowly,... 

Probation, was the word that I became familiar with in May 2008 after the results came out. I started asking myself serious questions and understanding what is required to succeed in a particular course. Each course has its own demands and rituals. Some require you to just present 3 presentations in the span of 4 months and you get your grade. Some have 2 midterms plus homework plus a final exam. What I realized is that every course, every professor, every chapter has to be aproached in a different way. I was still on Russian time. 

For the next months, I started understanding what academic probation really means and the different petitions associated with it. I had to get my GPA back up to 3.0. For that, I would need excellent grades in all my courses to get the average back to the required. Failure to obtain the GPA would mean removal from the university.

I decided to take 4 courses, one more than needed, just in case. I have to admit there were many instances where I thought that there is absolutely no chance I could make it. I was against all odds. The person betting hundred dollars on me would actually become a millionaire. Even the look in my academic advisors eyes told me that he wasn't confident enough. Yet, he recommended a few courses. I took two of them but the other two I changed. Little did I know that at the end of the semester I would be looking back at the choice of my courses and the addition of the fourth course with absolute marvel. 

I had a lot at stake and I knew it. I loved this place, the people, the university. My friends had become my family and I had no backup plan in place. I was even the president of the Indian Graduate Students Association. I really didn't feel like losing all of that. 

Hardwork and dedication are mandatory. But even sacrifices have to be made. That's what I did different from the previous semester. Trying to tackle 4 courses along with 2 part-time on-campus jobs became a routine and weekdays became my workout. I just hoped that at the end of the semester I had something to show for.

23rd December came quick. The grades were out and my blood pressure was over the roof. As I checked them with Pragni, Omkar and Pallavi trying to calm me down, I realized that none of what I had done throughout the semester would matter if this didn't work out. And I knew that Pinky too was thinking whether I made it or not while vacationing in India.

3.73 and my cumulative was up to 3.06 

Parity was restored.

It's amazing how the smallest things people say make the biggest of difference, the way they stand by you defines your relationship with them. They affect your confidence and give you added incentive. And every word has made the difference in the past months.

It's been a week since I saw the grades and I still am wondering what I would have done if they had let me down. I started receiving quite some praise which I hadn't heard for at least a year. One of my professors even called it "A terrific achievement" which sounded really flattering, but made me proud. All Pinky asked me online was "In or Out?" and all Pragni said to me was "I never doubted you one bit. Never."

Welcome to the Real World

.... a world where your life can change radically in a split second

... where the smartest person in the world is on a wheelchair and all he can use is his brain.

... where a marathon winner comes home to the news that his diabetes has taken a decision to cut his leg off.

..... where all a hardworking man needs is to come home to his family and remember why his ass is red and his hands are rough.

...... where you could lie on the bed staring at the ceiling late in the night even though you haven't slept for days.

..... where a letter of recommendation can get you into a relationship.

...... where the other line always moves faster.

.... where you realize that you could lose everything you cared for tomorrow, or maybe the day after.

..... where the world will not let you think.

..... where you are as faithful as your options.

..... where you are given two weeks notice.

... where criminals run countries.

... where a three hour exam doesn't show how smart you are, but how slow you are.

.... where the total amount of good and bad follows no proportionality theorems.

.... where you can feel all the pressure in the world....and some more.

.... where every second counts.

.... where time is money and poverty is a viscious circle.

... where viscious is spelt vicious in google, or maybe the previous spelling is actually wrong.

... where one mistake could end it all.

.... where an MIT gold medalist dies of stress and high blood pressure at 26.

.... where you either get rich or die trying.

.... where the originality of an idea is directly proportional to the time you take to write it down.

.... where you live on the basement level in Crap Villa.

.... where your love interest will either sleep with your best friend or not get along with them.

.... where what goes around comes around and around to choke the hell out of you.

.... where you realize that you have been happy all this while, only to think that you're the saddest person alive at that moment.

... where you get dumped for being fat/ugly/tall/short/hairy/bitchy/sterile/obtuse/poor...... 

.... where life kicks you in different places at different times but you can't kick it back.

.... where everything comes to an end.... even this blog post.

You're welcome!

:)

Top 10 things guys think about when they pee

Presenting an idea that originated in the weirdest of places, while doing one of the most liberating things a guy can do standing.

I've also decided that I will be making a section called "My Top 10", something to give "Him and Her" a run for it's money.

So, here are the Top 10 things guys think about when they pee (according to me, at least)

10. Gosh, this place stinks. But at least it's cleaner than my toilet in the hostel.

9. Flow velocity is equal to flow rate divided by flow area.

8. How can people even think about drinking this to remain healthy? I pity the astronauts, but at least they are going to be recycling it.

7. Just because I started before him, doesn't mean that I should finish before him.

6. Why can't I concentrate?

5. C'mon, aim for the center of the bowl!!

4. Could I move one of those naphthalene balls with the pee-force?

3. I would have asked him how he's enjoying the game, except that we are not at one.

2. I'm free!!

1. Am I awake? (Always better to check)

Him and Her - 3

Her: I love you!
Him: I love you too!
Her: You know, I've wanted you to be the one for me since forever. Ever since I've known you.
Him: That's the liquor talking. When I ask you tomorrow, you won't admit to have said this.
Her: Because I'm scared. But I want this. I want this forever.
Him: Why can't you tell me all this when you're not high?
Her: Sometimes you behave like you don't care.
Him: I always care. I just get angry and I pretend to not care.

(pause)

Her: (falls asleep on the couch)
Him: Let's go to bed.
Her: I don't like you.
Him: Why?
Her: Coz you won't let me sleep. No, but I wasn't sleeping.
Him: (giggles) You're drunk and you need sleep.
Her: (angry) I'm not drunk and I wasn't sleeping
Him: Okay! You're slightly influenced by alcohol. It's late. Let's go inside and sleep.
Her: Why can't I go to sleep while the video?
Him: What? You're talking nonsense again, in your sleep.
Her: (snores)
Him: (picks her up and takes her to bed)

Credit

When you are a part of a team, the rules are different.

A team is made up of individuals, who play their part, who perform to their abilities.

When someone doesn't do what they are supposed to, fingers are pointed.

Fingers might even be pointed at those, who shouldn't be blamed.

That's where a leader is tested.

That's when the resolve of a team is questioned.

Criticism is a tricky attribute. It needs to be aimed at those who deserve it, or those who don't deserve it but can take it.

Acclaim, too, is a tricky thing. Given to those who can't handle it, acclaim can cause complacency.

But I've seen the guilty walk free and the battlers take the hit.

People who have slogged all day and night over a poster without even starting on their assignments, haven't been told what a wonderful job they have done.

People who have done the running around at the last minute when there was nobody else to do it, when there was no other option, haven't been told that it wouldn't have been a success without their effort.

People who have worked their asses off to make a beverage that the layman would sit and sip and marvel at in the cold, haven't been told that it was the reason that the event was a success.

If criticism has to be handed out by the numbers, then why not applause?!

Maybe it's just not enough by my standards.

This is my way of paying tribute to them!

Pardon my French

I have had some really entertaining professors and teachers over the years. But none of them have come close to Don Talleur, my AVI 455 - Aviation Accident Investigation class instructor. He is the typical good-guy, Jim Carrey look-a-like dude.

In our previous class, this is what one of his explanations sounded like:

In accident investigation, you come across everything even remotely related to Human Factors. Some one or the other will eventually make a mistake. Sometimes increase in automation, decreases situation awareness (SA). I was once flying over lake Michigan, getting ready to turn over for my base leg towards the landing strip. The flight was on auto-pilot and I bent over to my right to grab the approach chart. When I come back up to my seat, I look out the window and the freaking plane's making a 20-degree left turn for God-only-knows what reason. I had no idea why the turn was being made, where I was headed or what I need to do to get back on track for the next 5 minutes. That's 300 seconds. Situation Awareness, you see.

As I said before, human errors are the major part of the pie in accidents. I know this investigator, who I had met over somewhere last month and he was investigating a particular incident. I asked him the reason for the accident, actually the probable cause. Was it mechanical failure? Or a design error? I didn't expect an informal answer from this gentleman, I barely knew him, but he went on and gave me a very frank reply. He said, and pardon my french here, "The guy fucked up, plain and simple".

I've just never heard an instructor say stuff like this before. The whole class was silent for about 40 seconds. We didn't even laugh. It was the truth, it was the plain truth said by him in a very frank manner.

Falling short...

Have you ever had that feeling inside of you, where everything you do is turned around and thrown back at you? No matter how much you strive and slog, it is never good enough.

Someone once told me, "I don't think people will appreciate you, because you don't know how to get that appreciation out of them".

And I said that if they really and truly do appreciate what I do, then I won't have to.

There is nothing worst than having that feeling deep inside. Knowing that you are not good enough. Not capable. Not worthy.

The best part is sometimes people are really trying their best and truly deserve some appreciation, but they are not given it, which makes them perform poorly.

It is swimming against the current that defines character.

It is doing a good job without any sort of appreciation in life that demands respect.

And it is your belief in your goodness that will make you rise up and deliver even when you are told you're not good enough.

Weekend

It's hard to say no to someone you love. When they have that smile on their face or that look in their eyes. My heart melts. Even when she asked me to post this (just because), I couldn't say no, even though it was through a chat window. It becomes harder after you've just met her a few minutes ago and she has looked the best you've ever seen her look. Beauty redefined. Seriously. It's hard to not sound flattery, but sometimes you are stunned by the beauty around you.

I can't dance for nuts. I know that. But I also know that there are very few things and very few people in the world that could get me dancing (alcohol included). Today I danced like no one was watching. All I could see was my friends in front of me, and none of them were judging me. We all were just super-elated to be with each other and enjoy that moment, even though I know everyone missed Pinky in some way or the other. Dandia Raas, Garba and Bhangra.... awesome!

It's hard to find time for these things when you are a grad-student. The weekend comes in a jiffy and goes even quicker. You never know what hit you. I am sitting here in the comp lab on a Saturday night trying to do my research. Yes, it's a Saturday night, I've just returned from the Garba party and I intend to finish my quota for today in this secluded lab while listening to loud music. Well, being a grad student, I'm happy that I have the keys to the department building. I wish sometimes though, that I would be joined by her, who wouldn't join me here (for various reasons).

It's been a while since I'm written about current affairs. I'm happy about the effort I'm putting in all around. But I can always do better.

Goosebumps

I've taken 3 courses related to hardcore aviation this semester. One of them is a research project on a new breed of attitude indicators, the other is a runway and collision hazard analysis course for the Lambert International airport in St.Louis, MO and the third and most interesting course I've taken is Aviation Accident Analysis.

A part of me has always wanted to get into Air Crash Investigation, but I've felt that it isn't correct that my livelihood will depend on people dying. Well, this course has definitely changed my perspective on that. It is the job of the investigator to determine probable cause of the crash and prevent further such incidents. So, you're saving lives.

But a part of me always reacts in the same way. On my first day, the instructor told me that an investigator needs to be inquisitive and objective, not emotional. We've had several case studies throughout the semester and understood the process as a whole. Site anaylsis is just the beginning, then there's wreckage mapping, evidence sampling, witness interviewing. It's all part of a long process which will always have the media hovering around and misinforming the people. Hence, informing the media as and when we get any new information is critical. It will also have legal bindings and redundant jurisdictions which can be bent, not broken.

At the end of it all, the investigators will determine the probable cause of the crash and construct a virtual simulation on the computer of what actually happened during the last few moments of the crash. This information is determined using the data from the Flight Data Recorders(FDR) and the Cockpit Voice Recorders(CVR) among other things. When the last few moments of the flight plummeting are analyzed and explained a shiver runs down my spine. Everytime. During every investigation. This is because as an investigator, I must know how many people were on board, how many children. I must know how human error played a role in the accident. How some idiot forgot to check the pressure guage or the construction company would rather spend 4 million less on a flammable insulation for the cockpit instead of the non-flammable expensive one. And how, even today, there are so many things done wrong in aircraft manufacturing and maintainence, that if I'd mention them here, you would never fly again.

After gathering all the evidence, resisting your desire to shoot the person responsible for all those people's deaths, preparing your report and making the flight simulation, you have to get ready to explain the harsh reality to a room-full of people.

In the simulation video, the minute the flight slams into the ground or water, I have the same prolonged reaction.

Goosebumps!

What about now...?

Lately I've become a huge fan of Daughtry. I was sitting in Subway munching on a sandwich when "What about now" started playing.
"I like this song" she said. "I think it's Daughtry.... Actually I'm pretty sure it's Daughtry" I said. Since then, this song has been ringing in my head.

And the other song here "Over You", is pretty darn difficult to pull off vocally.

Also check out "Feels Like Tonight" by Daughtry.

Awesome tracks!!

Pessimism

Because true conservatives are pessimists, they are happier than liberals, for three reasons. First, pessimists are rarely surprised. Second, when they are wrong they are delighted to be so. Third, pessimists do not put their faith in princes-in government. They understand that happiness is a function of fending for oneself. Happiness is an activity; it is inseparable from the pursuit of happiness.

- George F Will
Pulitzer prize-winning author and columnist.

Love 101

This is just the mid-term

I. Do as directed (or else?) Fill in the blanks or answer the following with one of the three choices:

1. The number of fights in the first month is directly proportional to ____________. (the square of the dumb conversations, the exact level of understanding when nobody talks, the number of times you have fallen off the bed)

2. What is the exact amount of liquor needed to get the truth out of him/her?
a)2 gallons plus what he/she will puke.
b)half a litre more than the tears shed in the past eight months of the relationship.
c)Who the f**k is sober enough to measure?

3. What does the time period of a relationship depend upon?
a) How long you can stop staring at other singles.
b) How many times you say "I Love you...now let's go to bed" before you get drunk.
c) How good you are where it really matters. (wink)

4. Love me for a reason, let the reason be _______. (Money, Sex, all of the above)

5. What is the minimum number of people it takes to screw up a relationship?
a) Including in-laws?
b) Zero.
c) The Lord of the Flings plus the fellowship of the affirs plus the two flowers plus the bloody returning king who has Harry's wand.

6. The instrument that is used to measure love is called _______. (Foot-ruler, Spank-o-meter, Infrared that also checks number of hickies)

7. Love is _______. (Invisible, The "Him and Her" sections of my blog, the best feeling you get when you are blind)

8. Every couple has an equal and opposite _______. (swinger-couple, charge - I mean money, possess-assessissuss-iveness factor)

9. When two people fall in love that are admitting to being ______. (insanely horny, out-of-mind and out-of-money, ready to be raped)

10. Which of the following are true chronologically:
a)Fall in Love - Have a kid - Get married - Stay away from each other - Become friends - Cheat on each other
b) Become friends - Get married - Have a kid - Fall in love - Stay away from each other
c) Have a kid - Get married - Stay away from each other


If you think I have copied the above exam, then you can _______. (Try to "love" yourself, drink n shut up n drive, kiss my brown ass)

Daughtry - Crashed

Take your pick. An excellent track.

The first one is with a NASCAR video, which I must say is well choreographed. :P



The second video is with scenes from Spidey -3, the song doesn't end well though. :P

Problem

When there exists a problem between two people, it is not only necessary but critical that those two individuals identify and acknowledge the problem. I feel that the stages in identifying a problem between two is the same as the stages of grief, more or less.

Stage 1: Denial
Both parties will usually tend to deny that the problem actually exists. They run, they hide.

Stage 2: Anger
Both parties will feel angry at the situation and will try to blame it on the other. This part also exacerbates the problem and puts them in an even bigger rut.

Stage 3: Bargaining
The basic "you do this for me" dialogues are said which sometimes hurt the other party. Life and relationships are not about bargaining. They never are. But yes, they are about compromise and understanding.

Stage 4: Depression
Both parties get lost in the abyss of sadness and uniscence. This depressed state of affairs leaves too many wounds to heal.

Stage 5: Acceptance
After days, or months, or years of self-argument, you realize that there is a bloody problem. What you should have realized a while ago, dawns upon you now. The question remains, is it too late?

The two people can tackle a problem together or run from it. They could bring in a third person for some more insights and perspectives or they could bring in the eight hundredth and fourth person for his advice. Nothing will be solved unless both of them admit and accept. Unless they understand each other and their point of views. Unless they realize what wrong has been done. Unless they make an effort.

The two people I am talking about are just two people. They are not your boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents, sons, daughters. They are just two human beings between whom a problem exists. Now, how they choose to approach it is up to themselves.

LOL

I worked as an instructor over the summer and I could not have been happier. I love teaching and always will. It's something I always want to continue doing. My students are seniors in high school and unfortunately, or fortunately, I was teaching them anatomy. Here are some recapped moments.

Me: In which sport are the muscles of the arm used the most?
Student: Chess!

--------------------------

Student: So, Mr.AJ, what did you do over the weekend?
Me: I was grading your papers and I also spent some time with friends.
Student: What kind of friends?
Me: Ummm.... the good kind.
Student: I mean, do you have a girlfriend?
Me: Let's get back to the lecture, shall we?
Student: That's a "yes"!

-------------------------------

Me: What do you want to become after you graduate college?
Student: A stripper!
Me: I'm serious.
Student: So am I. It's going to be my night job. I don't know what I want to do during the day yet.

------------------------------------

Student: (answers to a written question) Babies have 300 bones because they haven't fused together yet, while humans have 206 after fusion occurs.
Me: I underline babies and humans.

--------------

Me: (written) What are the muscles that surround your heart called?
Student: (written) Cardeyack muscles.

----------------------


Me: Did she give you the notes?
Student: She said she hadn't written nothing.
Me: That's a negative negative. You can't use a negative negative. It implies the positive.
Student: That ain't true!

Either....Or

Either I have lost the will to blog, or I have no time on my hands.

Either I have nothing to blog about, or that's my latest excuse.

Either I have too much going on in my life, or I think it is.

Either I am living in my own world, or I have lost reasoning.

Either everything around me is perfect, or it's too good to be true.

Him and Her - 2

Her: Do you think we’ll get married?

Him: I’ll answer that on the day I marry you.

Her: How many kids do you think we’ll have?

Him: Before or after we’re married?

Her: You really know how to kill the mood, don’t you?

Wrong Number

At 7.30pm, I called a friend who is here in USA. I hadn't spoken to her for a long time on the phone. Went to my address book, clicked on her name and dialed the number. A low, squeaky voice answers
"Hmm"
"So rahe hai kya?" (Are you sleeping?), I asked.

Her reaction to that was a bunch of loud thuds. The signal was bad, couldn't hear her properly.
I hung up.

Later that night, I met her online and asked, "Do you know that I called you today, or are you still in your sleep?"
"When did you call me?" she asked.
"Around 7.30pm"
"No you didn't" she exclaimed confidently.
"Wait, I'll check"

As I checked the number I had dialed, I noticed a +91 as a prefix.
"Shit! Who has your cell in India?" I asked.
"My mother"

As soon as she said this, we both started laughing. I was feeling terribly sorry that I had woken up her mom at such an hour. It might have been around 6am there.

Later she explained to her mom what had happened and vowed to pull my leg on this subject for eternity. Her mom actually thought I was a drunk calling to harass her.

Maybe my voice has that natural tone. Sorry aunty!

( 30th July update - And now she has blogged about it too!! in a much better way, apart from all the exaggerations and leg-pulling!! )

I turn to you

There are a variety of people in life with you. Your family, your friends, your relatives, your family friends, your classmates, your colleagues, your cheddi-dosts and langotya yaars, the cricket-buddies, the hang-out dudes, your support-system, your unofficial brothers and sisters. The list and categorization can go on forever. Some may qualify for more than one category. Even though everyone doesn’t like categorizing, the fact is that it does exist.

No matter how many people you know in life, when crunch time comes, who will you turn to? No category will define anything on judgement day.

When those closest to you can’t understand what you are going through, do you turn to someone else?

What if they, too, are going through something that you can’t follow?

Do you wait for each other, or do you turn to someone else?

Even though it’s frustrating, would you actually be patient and wonder if you’ll ever get the good old days back?

No matter how much you try, why can’t you understand and feel “exactly” what the other person is feeling when they lose someone important?

Why do you feel like not staying in touch with people you will never see again in you lifetime?

Why do people turn their spinal cords towards you when it is their turn to help you out?

Why do people not understand that life is too short to stay mad at each other for long?

Why do we have second thoughts about naming a relationship, the first of its kind?

Him and Her - 1

Him: Nice party, huh?

Her: Yeah. It’s pretty boring.

Him: So, you’re Amy’s best friend, right? The one from Ohio?

Her: Yeah. How did you know?

Him: She told me that you would be the most beautiful girl I find in the room.

Her: (blushes)

The "Super"Jet

It is always interesting to see some new developments in your industry, some new inventions in your lab, a different chapter in your syllabus or a newly researched high-tech gadget in your toolbox.

In September 2007, at the KnAAPO assembly plant in Siberia, rolled out the 95-seat transport vehicle onto the tarmac. It was a joint venture between the Russian Aviation Industry, Rosaviakosmos (Space Agency) and the Boeing Company along with the marketing genius of Sukhoi, Ilyushin and Boeing.

It was the Sukhoi Superjet 100. The first of its kind. The beginning of a new series.

Having seen one in front of my eyes, I must say how posh and classy the exterior looks. I would have even been able to see the interiors had I been a Russian citizen. Anyway, the superjet boasts of some really state-of-the-art equipment. The standardization of the design will make it possible to improve the economic performance of the aeroplane family operation with expenditures kept at a rational level. The aerodynamics and design of the aeroplanes of the family are based on proven advanced technology to minimise technical risks at the stage of design, testing and operation. It can cruise at a maximum altitude of 41 thousand feet at a maximum speed of 0.78-0.8 Mach. It has the regular 2 turbofan engines as always.

Deliveries are to begin in late 2008. Sukhoi predicts that 163 units of all variations of the Superjet 100 will be delivered by the end of 2016.

In my personal opinion, I feel Russia has managed to create an aviation oil-well with the manufacturing and launch of the superjet. They will save a lot of money on imports and the orders have already started flowing in. I see the superjet 100 challenging the Boeing 737 and the Airbus 319 in the small-aircrafts category. It is just the former CIS countries that have placed huge orders at the moment. But when word spreads out about the efficiency of this machine, even the Brits might think twice about their agreement with Airbus. India and Russia have a “positive” history when it comes to aircrafts and in this case delivering the aircrafts won’t be a problem since Russia is geographically closer. Or do I need another globe?

In the long run the bigger jumbos like Boeing 747 and Airbus A380 will take away the candy, but the Sukhoi superjet is an excellent example of how to succeed when it comes to short-term profit in the aviation industry. It makes sense economically to the Russians, if they have counted right. They’ll need to fund their next few space mission failures with the money they generate out of the aviation industry.

Even though I wish at times Russia had more money, so that they could show the world what is the true meaning of technology, they are soon establishing themselves in the Asian aviation market at least.

Joy

There is a place where you are happy,
A face you see everytime.
You miss the bliss,
You long for it from nine to nine.

What you thought was a happy place once,
Just isn't anymore.
It has changed for worse,
It's nothing like before.

Maybe you need to think about why
You keep running away.
What you have been seeking all along
Will be beside you someday.

The pursuit of the joy makes more sense,
Than joy itself could ever be.
Everytime you turn a corner,
Standing by you you will find me.

For your happiness is my life,
I'll make sure you smile everyday.
But that won't happen,
Unless you say what you need to say.

Just because you find happiness in one place,
Doesn't mean it isn't everywhere.
For there are people around you always,
And you know how much they care.

I know what you're thinking,
But I still want you to say.
To make sure I'm not assuming,
And keep learning everyday.

Him and Her

Welcome!

A new series begins, a new chapter,

A series of short dialogues,

A series of special moments,

A series of romantic confessions,

A series of flirtatious comments,

A series of comic errors,

A series about understanding and misunderstanding,

A series about their past, present and future,

A series about their relationship, whatever name you might want to give it,

A series about Him and Her,

A series about them.

*ollywood

One thing I always manage to do in abundance in India is watch movies. This time I think I created some kind of a record. I behave like a film critic when I watch movies. Start pointing out faults and mistakes. Try and imagine a scene being shot differently. Here's what I thought of the movies that I watched.

Iron Man

Marvel have some really interesting stories to tell. From Spidey to the Fantastics. Iron Man is a really good way to make more money whilst providing entertainment. Any engineer would have a blast during this sci-fi flick, especially the Mech-geeks. The movie can boast of some really well-executed stunts coupled with the special effects. Robert Downey Jr. has done justice to the role, though I still prefer him in total comic roles. Gweneth Paltrow, ummm, is okay. They could have put in anybody in her place to be frank and it wouldn’t have made a difference. I loved the soundtrack and will be downloading it once I can get my hands on some free unlimited internet. I’ve heard that Marvel will be coming up with Wolverine too, starring Hugh Jackman. Can’t wait to catch that. But up next should be Dark Knight, Heath Ledger’s last.

Iron Man gets a metallic A minus.

Sarkar Raj

I don’t tend to like too many hindi movies, mainly due to chunks of useless reel shoved where it doesn’t belong. I absolutely loved Sarkar. It didn’t have any songs and it never deviated from the subject. Sarkar Raj is just more of the same. Quite frankly, such movies can be transformed into a neverending series. It will be one hell of an ATM series for the producers no doubt. Big B is awesome, just awesome. Small B and Aishwariya are good. The cast is filled with young, ripe talent. Ram Gopal Varma sure has an eye for talent and his directing masterclass just keeps on surpassing the previous. There could have been a few more twists and turns in Sarkar Raj, but I’m not sure anyone except me would have liked an overdose of surprises. A powerful movie!

Sarkar Raj gets a powerful A.

21

I have to admit, I have tried counting cards before. I’ve never done it professionally because I am not that good at it. I am more of an aggressive poker player than a card-counting blackjack player. 21 deals with a very real and confusing subject. It happens everywhere nowadays, card-counting. People pay their grocery bills because of it. The movie and the subject would be hard to grasp if you didn’t know how to play blackjack. I was expecting a lot out of 21, probably too much. I was disappointed. Kevin Spacey’s traits as an actor have been covered with a cloak of invisibility in this flick. Jim Sturgess and Kate Bosworth are only okay. Stories like these are bound to involve a lot of money and a lot of greed. In such situations, the story-line can be modified as seen fit. But there’s a touch of realism to the end.

21 gets a B for blackjack.

Sex and the City

A total woman-movie! Hundreds and thousands of women will flock in herds to see this stylish chick-flick. What they might not notice is how the characters are so different from the characters in the serial. This point too was put forward by my very sex-and-the-city-loyal female companion during the movie. I need not say more or I will be bitten by a smitten kitten.

B minus.

Bhootnath

This film was a timepass movie that maybe most people will enjoy due to the humor and sentimental bhav attached to it. But then again, songs shoved where they don’t belong and a stretched screenplay are minuses. Big B and Bankoo Bhaiya have done well in it. It makes me happy to see ghosts and objects flying without seeing the strings attached to them. The special-effects train has finally arrived from Hollywood.

Bhootnath gets a disappearing B minus.

De Dhakka

This movie will be fondly remembered by me. I hadn’t seen a marathi movie in ages, maybe the last one I saw was 12 years ago and I don’t even remember which one it was. Inspired by Little Miss Sunshine, De Dhakka has totally original characters and a totally different feel to it. The rural marathi rocks and so do the cast. There were times when I didn’t actually understand the dialogue, but the way a scene is portrayed just makes it so much easier to understand. A journey of a loving, dysfunctional family!

De Dhakka gets a B+.

I also managed to see Blue Planet, Mysteries of Egypt and Space Station at the Imax Dome Theatre. It was indeed a privilege. I wish they actually made more movies for the dome.

Cristiano, Cristiano...

You might have heard of

Ronaldo
David Beckham
Luis Figo
Zinedine Zidane

These have been the best players in the world in the last decade. At the moment, the best player in the world says he wants to leave the best club in the world. That's laughable, I tell you!

Cristiano Ronaldo, who joined Manchester United from Sporting Lisbon five seasons ago, has scored a massive 42 goals this season as United won the Premier League and the Champions League. He is, no doubt, the best in the world at the moment. He'll only get better, they say. He is valued at around 70 million pounds. Yes, you read it right. In 2001, Zidane cost Real Madrid around 45 million pounds, which is still the world record transfer. Seems like Ronaldo's transfer, should it happen, will shatter it to pieces.

Even though news reports are still shaky, I really fail to understand why Ronaldo wants to leave. He is at the best club in England and in Europe at the moment. Why would someone want to leave? He is among the highest paid footballers in the world. Why would he leave? To get more money? Maybe. He said a while back that it is his dream to play for Madrid.

I think that it is the face value that you get at Real Madrid that players enjoy. If you've noticed all of the above players in that list have played for Real Madrid when they were crowned World Footballers of the Year. Ronaldo has achieved that feat at United itself. Even David Beckham reached his peak at United before he joined Real Madrid. Why Ronaldo would take this decision is beyond me.

At the end of the day it is the club that own the player. If Manchester United say Ronaldo is not for sale, and they have, then he is going nowhere. I don't think the richest club in the world would be awed by a 70 million pound price tag, no way! I'm sure United will not sell him. But then I hope Cristiano doesn't do something stupid like hand in an official transfer request.

The gossip continues anyway.

Everytime

Everytime you use the same attitude while arguing or fighting, you realize that it is the result of 20 years of agony.

Everytime you behave a certain way, you wish you could explain why.

Everytime you feel like tearing your guts apart, you remember what is was like when you were happy.

Everytime you feel like giving up, a face comes in front of you that won't let you.

Everytime you feel like you are being yourself, someone comes along and tells you that you are not.

Everytime it hurts, you think about the big picture.

Everytime you think about being negative, you slap yourself saying "This is not you".

Everytime you walk, you see your footsteps from last time.

Everytime you think about pouring out everything, you remember that it's no use.

Everytime it feels wrong, a feeling deep inside you tells you otherwise.

Everytime you lose someone, you realize what you feel for them.

Everytime you start to feel vulnerable, you start backing off.

Everytime you lose control, you take drastic measures.

Everytime someone else's happiness seems more important, you sacrifice.

Everytime you think about the future, it scares you more.

Everytime you talk to yourself, you edge towards madness.

Everytime something doesn't make sense, you ask the questions a million times.

Everytime you think you are alone, you discover yourself all over again.

Everytime I think of it, my life seems incomplete.

Need for speed

I have loved driving all my life. There was a time when I would have given anything to become a professional racing driver. Even today, there are some people in my life who still encourage me to take it up professionally. I used to be amazed at the street races happening around Mumbai. The ones at Marine Lines and the Western Express Highway interested me the most. Quite a few early-morning walkers have been killed over the years because of this so-called sport.

You have to know the right people, be at the right places and have the right attitude to even be considered for the races, I was told once.

On May 25th, 2008 I was offered a seat in a race. I was given instructions and details. Everything felt real. In fact, it was as real as can be. Suddenly, I remembered all the accidents of the past that I had read about. Now, even though I would be racing on the Western Express highway on certian undisclosible nights at certian undisclosable times when people do not venture out to stroll, I was reluctant to say yes. This is something that surprised me. I just couldnt say yes. It isn't gambling, it isn't. No money involved. Only your car, your skills, your pride and your life.

I have been thinking of the hit-and-runs. Haven't even started to think about what would happen at speeds of 120-150kmph. What would happen if I lost control for a split second at those speeds. Newton would laugh in his grave while pointing out to his second law. Others would just point at the picture below in horror.

I have never doubted my skills as a driver. Never been scared.

I still have been given the option to mull it over and say yes after a year.

Let Love In

During the course of life, we live, love, lose. At some point we get hurt. Sometimes that bruise just doesn't heal. We can't bring ourselves to love again, thinking about the same ramifications. Some people have multiple wounds. Some just forget how blissful love is.

We don't feel like being vulnerable again. We don't feel like taking the plunge again. The days of the rollercoaster seem over. The words "soul" and "mate" can only be used at an Australian bar with a soul food buffet. The heart can no longer decide. Love is benched.

Everyday I am given another reason by life, another reason to not believe. The horizon isn't in sight, the boat is empty and the sky is starless. I just keep rowing.

Why do we need to be reminded time and again about what we mean to other people?
Why do we drift away from what we once called happiness?
Why do people change? Change for the worse?
Why don't we just let love in?


Goo Goo Dolls - Let Love In

Glory!

It happens only in Kurla...

I start to think about having dinner, when the phone rings and I am told that the train arrives in an hour. I get ready and leave. Me and Jigar somehow find the Kurla Terminus which is located in some "khopchi" of Mumbai. At the Terminus, the first thing that I see is millions of people. At least it looked like millions. There was no road. There were people walking, people spitting, people sleeping, rickshaws parked, rickshaw drivers arguing, taxiwalas abusing each other left and right. There was a hint of a terminus, and five platforms. People camping on the floors, the toilets looking like gutters, the stalls looking like toilets, the telephone booths looking like stalls. From Illinois Terminal to Kurla Terminus. Wah!

I see an old man walking in the middle of the 'road' with a stick. I put an arm around him and took him to the side, saying, "Uncle, side mein aa jao. Gaadi lag jayegi." (Uncle, please come aside. You might get hit by a car). His smile was worth millions.

We tired to look for the ticket office. Supposedly we needed a platform ticket. The queue went on for miles. There were approximately 235 people standing in the line. It would have taken us about an hour to get to the counter and purchase the 2 rupee ticket. The train was scheduled to arrive in 25 mins.

Jigar said, "Ab kya?" (What now?)

"We'll go without the ticket onto the platform, what else?" was my answer.

"Paagal hai kya?" (Are you mad?)

"No other option, boss. We'll pay the fine. Whatever it is. 100-120 rupees."

Suddenly I had a wild idea. I told him to wait while I bugged the station master. I knocked and entered. He was on the phone but entertained me. "Yes?"

"Sir. Yahaan par ek hi ticket office hai platform ticket ke liye?" (Is there only one platform ticket office here?)

After his affirmative answer, I asked, "Kitna fine bharna padega ticket officer ne pakda toh?" (How much fine will I have to pay if caught by the ticket officer?)

He smiled. Kept the phone down. "Usko bolna ke Mishraji se baat hui hai. Mai hoon Mishra. Batai do usko", he said in his Bihari accent. (I am Mr.Mishra. Tell him that you have spoken to me)

Problem one solved.

Then the train arrives. My sister jumps on me, literally. She hadn't seen me for 5 months. We decide to hire some help for the bags. The coolie starts loading the bags and when he is almost done he names a price near 120 rupees. We all look at him in bewilderment and instruct him to unload the bags. We keep negotiating. Another man arrives on my right. He asks, "Taxi?"

I start negotiating with him about the taxi price which he thinks should be 250 rupees.

Typical bhendi bazaar scenario. Dus ka beees, dus ka beees.

Finally, after some hilarious numbers are thrown around, I manage to get the services of the coolie for 80 rupees and the taxi for whatever the taxi meter says plus 70 rupees(baggage). I ended up paying the taxi driver a total of 200 rupees. Money well saved I'd say.

God, I love bargaining. Just love it. Mumbai rocks!

Turbulence

I've seen shaky wings before. But this was something different. Amidst the turbulent conditions, the joint of the wing and the 2nd engine of the Boeing 747-400 looked weak. I kept a close eye on it for the first leg of the journey, hoping it wasn't real.



At Frankfurt, I alerted the crew before I exited the plane. Later, I realized that the crew was changing as well. I made a mental note to tell the new crew too. As I took my seat, I was contemplating.

"What if they delay the flight, again?"

"What if they just laugh it off?"

It was something I had to tell them rather than not. I asked for the cabin crew supervisor and informed him that the wing looked unstable, rather the upper part of the engine looked like falling off any minute. He said, "Don't worry, Sir. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about." I turned around and took my seat. Now, I had made it a point to not tell him this in front of the other passengers. I didn't want to cause panic. Anyway, it all fell on deaf ears. Maybe if I would have told him that I was an aerospace engineer, it would have made a difference. But I just had a bachelors in it, and I haven't gotten half way through my Masters. I'm an engineer none the less.



As I sat in my seat, I thought, "If the plane crashes now, and I survive, I will sue Air India. Better even, I will punch the guy for not listening and then sue them."



Maybe being in this field and studying most of these mechanisms make you overly cautious at times. I have noticed that happening many times with me. I just know how things work and fail so well, that I worry too much.



I kept both eyes on the wing this time. Non-turbulent conditions made my life easier this time and the flaps worked fine during the final approach.



I got to Mumbai in one piece.

Champions

Final day drama it was! With Man Utd needing a victory to win the league, they produced the goods on the final day of the premier league against Wigan in familiar fashion.

But just the Premier League crown isn't enough. For a squad this talented and mature, the Champions League should be the ultimate target. Again, their main rivals will be Chelsea. I must take my hat off to Chelsea, by the way. After the departure of the "Special One" - Jose Mourinho, I thought they would free fall. But their new manager Avram Grant has managed to put up a fight on all fronts after the initial slump in form.


I also need to congratulate Bolton, a club that I have great respect for. I didn't want to see them relegated to the lower division. They fought well till the end and managed to survive.

Another team that should get accolades is Everton, who have consistently managed to grab fifth place below the top four and qualify for the Uefa Cup.

This seasons Uefa Cup final will be an special one for me. Zenit St.Petersburg are finally where they belong, in the final of a major European competition. I just wish I was cheering for them at the final. I will be, but at the edge of my seat in front of my TV set. I hope they win. I hope they show the world the beauty of Russian football.

Zenit for the Uefa Cup!

Man Utd for the Uefa Champions League!

303, W Green St. Apt B203, Champaign IL 61820

I walk to a place that is empty. I look at the ground and see millions of my footsteps on the footpath as I have walked to and fro from there. I know that I am going to nobody. To nothing. But I want to go none-the-less.

I open the door and turn on the lights. Emptiness everywhere. I walk through the apartment just to catch a glimpse of unexpectedness, but nothing surprises me. I sit on the couch and look around. Sigh. I see Dhum frying the onion rings in the kitchen. Pal sitting on her comp and making us listen to some new song. Pinky working all night on his comp while making sure everyone is doing their work too. Dream Catcher watching "Sex and the City" and getting yelled at. I see RM coming and going, ignoring everyone.

I breathe the air of a place where I have spent more time than my lab. A place that I imagined even before I had set foot into it. It had come to be my home. Our home.

They say that change is good. Change must be welcome. But what if I don't want change?

What if I want to turn back time? What if I want you to come back?

What if I want us, all of us, to be there..... just be there.

The 8th May Girl

Once upon a time, you were my best friend. You were like the devilish angel amongst us.

I remember playing with you, talking to you, fighting with you. I remember your mom scolding me. My mom scolding you. And then our moms laughing it over a cup of tea while we giggle on the side.

You played cricket with me. You tried your best. You didn't care what people thought of your over-arm bowling action.

The bullshit that you used to talk, the flattering remarks, the boasting. It was fun. It was you.

The way we spoke about our crushes, and then tried to get the ball rolling. That was the best.

I could joke with you, tease you, love you, understand you, miss you, ignore you, smile at you all at the same time.

We fell in love with each others best friends. Yet nothing changed. That's what made me love you even more.

We could hang out anywhere. And be together. We could walk to anywhere. And find our way back.

And one day our lives changed, when you had to move. I never realized that you were gone until you were gone.

I've been wondering where you went ever since.

You're just a mouse-click away, yet so far. Too far maybe.

I miss you!

Happy Birthday.

Saved

I start my laptop. Go to my blog page. Create a post. Sit and stare at the blank page and wonder whether I should write what I want to write. Sometimes, I don't even feel like thinking about it. More often than not, I end up writing it. The words in front of me scream the truth, but I won't listen. They tell me a story that I refuse to believe. My mind resists.

I slowly understand the reality. I continue writing. Pour my heart out. Pour my mind out. I write more than I have even thought about the relevant topic. My fingers seem possessed.

Emptiness. When there's nothing left to write, I look away from the keyboard. Stare at the ceiling for a bit. Point my cursor on "Publish post" and consider. Shake my head and click on "Save Now".

I hope that it is safe, somewhere.

Sweet and Low - Augustana

From catching the beautiful tune of the guitar.... to looking up and actually listening to the song playing on the TV in the courtyard cafe at the Illini Union.

From waiting till the song ends to catching a glimpse of the name and the artist.

From rushing home and downloading it on my laptop to enjoying every bit of this song.

From the magic of spontaneous actions to the relief of doing it right.

Sweet and low - Augustana

Have you ever...

Do you ever feel like walking alone? Like walking into nowhere?

Do you ever feel like disconnecting from the world??

Have you ever wanted peace from all the noise in your head?

Have you felt that destiny will play its part?

Where will life take you if you relinquish control?

Will it be somewhere you belong? What if you want to come back?

Will people find you when they need you?

Or will you just disappear?

Why can't you sleep sometimes? Is it because you are afraid to dream? Or is it because that voice in you head never lets you close your eyes?

How can you say everything and not say anything at the same time?

Have you ever wanted to scream into a pillow? Or kick the ground with your sole?

Have you ever wanted to ask a bunch of rhetorical questions just for the heck of it?

Why do we look for answers to questions that don't have any?

The things people say

Here is the transcript of the pre-match and post-match text messages that people have sent via the 606 and 81111 networks in Britian. Courtesy of BBC Sports, people can message their opinions and comments which are then added onto the live text commentary of the match.

from red_head_devil on 606: "I awoke this morning next to my not-attractive-enough girlfriend, to travel to my not-paid-enough job before I return to my not-big-enough house to watch United on my not-good-enough telly - but if we win at Barca tonight - well, today would be one hell of a good day."

from Sp0rtsFan23 on 606: "In return for going to bingo last night with the missus, we are having steak in front of the match with The Apprentice lined up on Sky Plus for afters. I'm a Gooner but am massively looking forward to this clash."

Anonymous: "When Solskjaer scored the winner in Barcelona in 1999 I jumped out of my chair, my socks slipped on the carpet, I fell backwards and hit my head on the floor, giving myself concussion."

from Phil in Manchester via text: "If United lose another game this season, nevermind tonight, I will buy a hat and then eat it."

from Matt via text: "I'm sitting in my pants in my dingy student house, writing my dissertation, while my tutor is partying in Las Ramblas with a bunch of merry Catalans. There's something wrong here."

from craidski_MUFC on 606: "I'm sat at work clock-watching. I can't wait for the day to end so I can drag the missus down the pub to watch what is going to be one of the best European games of the year."

"Park marking Messi? Jinkies!"
Tom, Manchester, via text on 81111

I'm in an open exam at the minute for my finals, and I'm watching the match, without beer, as a compromise. Sort your priorities out!"
Jez in York, via text on 81111

"The script has already been written, Henry to come off the bench and score the winner."
Darrell via text on 81111

"United have played like a boxer willing to take a barrage of body-blows. They haven't been very adventurous but limited the damage Barca could have dealt."
Mathew, London, via text on 81111

Uniqueness

I have taken a course in Electric Propulsion this semester. My instructor, Prof. Burton, has approximately 30 years of experience in this area. He has even visited Russia (I think) during the good-old USSR days when exchange of material and technology was permitted.

Today during our class, he pulls out this sheet of paper with a picture of an Ion Thruster. While he was showing it to the class, I noticed that the paper was in Russian. I immediately asked him. He didn't know who had asked the question so he said, "Yes, it's in Russian. Does anybody know to read Russian?" That was my cue. He handed the paper to me and told me to translate. I started roughly translating most of it. He then interrupted me and told me to read just the title. It read "Electric Rocket Thruster", roughly, and it had a picture of it.

It is times like these when you feel unique. One of a kind. Like you know something that nobody else does. Like people will listen to what you have to say, and trust your word. That's the power a parent has, a teacher has. That's the power I wish politicians in India could have. Maybe once upon a time they did.

The first thing I did when I got home was checked whether what I had told them was right. I started hoping that I didn't create some techno-babble bullshit because I had a hunch. Fortunately, it was right. I realized that it was right all along. It couldn't have been anything else.

Be it the simplest of things, when you pass on knowledge or information to others from the top of the pyramid, you better be right, or at least correct the error as soon as possible.

My Russian Language Certificate (which I haven't got yet) means much more to me suddenly. Uniqueness is present in everyone of us. You will know when unleashed at the opportuned moment.

United

I have been a Manchester United fan for almost 14 years now. They were the first club I started supporting as a kid, and they will be the last. Manchester United is not just a football club. It is a dynasty, which has taken decades to build. One man who has devoted his life to this club is Sir Alex Ferguson. He's been at the helm for 21 solid years now. Considered the most successful manager ever in the English Premier League, the 67 year old has created an era of entertaining football, talented players and continues to go strong.

As you might see on the bottom right tab on my blog, Man Utd just defeated AS Roma in the quarter finals of the Champions League. They now face Barcelona in the semis which promises to be a mouth watering clash of the titans. One of the top Spanish sides against the reigning English Champions. A game where names like Thierry Henry, Lionel Messy, Wayne Rooney, Cristiano Ronaldo, Samuel Eto, Paul Scholes and Deco share the spotlight for two 90 minute encounters.

Man Utd last won the Champions League in 1999. It was one of the most breathtaking climax ever. Man Utd score won 2-1 after Bayern Munich had taken an early lead. Man Utd scored 2 goals in the space of 3 minutes at the end. What drama!! You can check out the match highlights by clicking here. With one of their strongest squads ever, I believe this year they will go all the way. They will triumph in both the domestic league and the European.

The Premier League had been dominated by Man Utd for a long time up until 2002. Then Arsenal won a couple of titles. Then, entered Chelsea with the help of the Russian Roman Abramovich's billions. They won back-to-back titles in 2005and 2006 when Man Utd's team was in a transitional rebuilding phase. Last season, Man Utd bounced back. They won the league, reached the finals of the FA cup and progressed till the semis of the Champions League where they lost to the eventual champions, AC Milan. One of the most memorable matches of last season was the quarter final clash against AS Roma where thanks to some excellent football Man Utd won 7-1 which you can watch by clicking here. It's a real coincidence that they faced AS Roma again this year at the same stage. But I'm happy that they have overcome the hurdle because Roma have improved a lot since last season.

I desperately await the semi final clash with Barcelona, like Sir Alex, and hope that Manchester United can put up a performance in both legs and set up a final meeting with either Liverpool or Chelsea. The final will be played in Moscow on May 21st. I've been waiting for the final to be held in Russia for 5 years. Perfect timing!

The One

Well, I am going to be 24 this December. If another kid calls me uncle, I will castrate him.
I need to fix some terminology.
Call your parents' brother uncle, not me. I am not old.
Old is when an "all nighter" means not having to get up to pee.
Old is when you are cautioned to go slow by the doctor, not the police.
Old is when your wife tells you, "Honey, let's go upstairs and make love" and you reply "Sweetheart, I can't do both".

OK. In all seriousness, I was freaked when I turned twenty. I was no longer a teenager anymore. The twenties brings some really heavy-duty words to mind like "Job","Marriage".
Every guy has his share of marriage-phobia. Every guy gets cold feet. It's just a matter of how he deals with it. If he has the prefect girl alongside him, then it gets easier. But that doesn't mean he doesn't get cold feet.

It is true that love is blind, but marriage is definitely the eye-opener. Before marriage, you dream of growing old together. After marriage, you wonder who will die first. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

We learn about these things called "love","relationships" when we are around 15,sweet 16. But we really start to understand them when we reach the 18-20 phase. Most men get married when then are 26-27 and most women when they are 24-25. That gives every man roughly 8-9 years and every woman 6-7 year to find their better half. Wow, I love statistics. Numbers never lie. How can one find the one person out of millions in such a short span? There might be a time in the future when people look for the right person for 20-30 years and end up spending 7-8 years of married life. That would be wierd, though. Imagine a 50-year old man standing at the alter saying his vows, "I searched 8 countries for you, even Ethiopia. But the 30 years of my life that I dedicated to finding you were worth it." Then the woman replies, "Sorry honey! I forgot my hearing aid."

"By the power of God, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You might not have a 25-year anniversary, unless both of you trust medicine. Good luck trying to get pregnant. You may now wear your dentures and kiss the bride."

Sometimes I wish she was you

I heard this song about 14 months ago in Russia on the radio. I didn't know the name of the artist or the song, but I loved it and never heard it again. The song kept playing in my head many times. Finally a few weeks ago, I heard Omkar listening to it and I was in luck.

Happy Birthday Omkar!!!

P.S - This song is NOT dedicated to you.(seriously!)

I can't imagine saying the words "I wish you were her, I wish you were my girl" to someone while your girl is with you. Apparently, Hinder can.

"Honey, why you calling me so late?...... My girl's in the next room, sometimes I wish she was you. I guess we never really moved on" - Hinder

While you were sleeping

Have you ever woken up from a night's sleep or a short nap and felt a different person?

Have you ever felt that something changed while you were sleeping, but never managed to understand what?

It happened again today. It's been a while since I remember it happening.

I was exhausted from all the running around I had done on that Saturday afternoon. Three private tutions back-to-back during 10th std is enough to get your head aching. I decided to take a short nap after lunch and recharge my batteries. I wasn't looking forward to playing cricket that evening as the last time was painful. I was so scared of facing that bowler again, Harnish, was his name. I had got bruises on my foot and my wrist from the last time. I had been too boggled, not concentrating on the ball, more bothered about how to avoid it. I wanted to skip batting for the first time in my life. But I was too tired to think about it, so I slept.
A rush of blood ran through my head when I woke up. I felt as if I had dropped from Mars at that very instant. I looked around. Something felt different. It was 6pm. I got ready and joined my friends. When it was my turn to bat, I wondered how I would face the music while attempting to keep my eyes open. The first ball was played by me on the front foot. My outstretched foot was perfectly placed for me to play a forward defensive stroke. Where did that come from, I wondered. The second ball was a full toss which I slapped for six runs. It landed on the terrace of the opposite building. Who was holding the bat in my hand? It sure as hell wasn't me! I played like I was possessed. I took 18 runs of the over, which isn't too bad. It was a week until I faced Harnish again and I never got bruised again. I played him with sheer confidence and agression.

What happened during the time I was asleep is still a mystery to me, but I loved it.

I fell asleep on my study table during my 12th std prelim exams. It was 2am and I had been working on this particular math problem for 40 minutes without a clue. My eyes opened at 4.35am and I gazed at the geometric figure for half a minute. I knew the solution! I began writing the proof and just managed to carve something out of the stone. It turned out to be correct!

Did an angel come into my dreams and whisper something in my ear, or was it Newton or Pythagoras?
How can a rational or natural explanation exist to such bizzare phenomenon?

Today, I woke up and realized that I was falling short of expectations. I haven't been paying attention to the one thing that matters the most. I had almost lost sight of it. But someone must have held my hand ..... while I was sleeping.

Write here, write now

I was having a discussion a few days back with a friend about reading and writing. There is nobody in the world who likes both equally. We all like one more than the other. Some of us prefer reading, while some prefer writing.

I like to read. Some tales are better told in words than on screen. But writing is my passion. If someone told me to choose, I would tend to bend more towards writing. It's not only my blog, but the other stuff that I write. I normally don't show people everything. It's just such a beautiful way of venting.

I've written poems, scripts, even short stories. Some friends have witnessed a few of my short stories. They were well-appreciated. My fear is and will always be the same, that someone will duplicate my material. That's the reason I never post any of those stories on my blog. Some genius jackass siting in Swaziland can easily translate my story and make a movie out of it which might win a Raspberry award. This is the reason why I sometimes think about a good subject but never put pen to paper. I once thought about an excellent sequel to "Main Khiladi Tu Anadi" - a 90s hit hindi movie. I had planned out the entire plot in my head, continued with most of the characters from the first film and given it a decent ending. And yes, this would have been a film without any songs. But those would find their way into the film anyway, as they always do in hindi cinema. Most of the script involved incidents that had happened in the past few years with me and my friends, and everything made sense. I had the stunts, the thrills, the romance, all in my head, but for some reason I decided to think more and never wrote it. I've forgotten most of it now. But still remember the story, at least the gist of it.

Another story that I've been working on is my own. It's been three years since I first started writing the script for that one. Still don't have a name for it, but I'd named it "The Amateur" temporarily. It's a drama-thriller about a young CIA agent. I never got a chance to continue it. Same case with this story. I have the whole plot in my head, but don't have the time to sit and write it down exactly the way it is.

I've decided that I'm going to devote a certian amount of time every week to my stories and scripts. Now that it's Spring Break, I can make such a decision. After a month, when I'm swamped with studies for my final exams, I won't even remember that I ever thought about this resolution, and my stories will once again be mummified waiting for the next excavation trip.

Worn Out

In Russia, most undergraduate students live in dorms. Ask anyone who has lived in a dorm when he/she was a student, and they’ll tell you how crazy life can be. Late nights, stayovers, piles of books on your bed, conversations over coffee, fights, parties. It’s a crazy life! When I was in my final year undergrad, I took maximum advantage of my free time by spending it with friends and visiting places in St.Petersburg that I hadn’t seen before.

Sometime in December 2006, after having dinner with a friend, I decided to stay over at her place (don't get any ideas). We both had to go to church the next morning, and my place was a forty minute commute from hers, so staying over made sense as it was almost midnight. Her hostel was very strict about letting people stay over, so we had to get special permission from the person in-charge, the kommendant. The guards just wouldn’t let me in. She went into the kommendant’s office, while I stood outside, waiting in anticipation. I was too tired to go home and it was too late. When she came out, I was told that he had granted permission, but he would be visiting her room in an hour, just to check. I was relieved, if anything.

As we made ourselves comfortable at her place, she got an idea. As I didn’t have a washing machine at my place, she suggested that I change my clothes, put them in the washing machine at her place, and wear the clean clothes in the morning. I had my doubts about the dryer, she didn’t have any masculine clothes except a t-shirt and shorts. After her assurances, I changed and put the clothes for wash. We then began watching a short video of her sister’s wedding. Someone knocked at the door at around 12.30am. It was the kommendant, just as he had promised.

“I’m sorry”, he said, “but I don’t think you’re friend can spend the night. My superiors will be coming tomorrow morning and they will question me about this.”

“It’s so late”, she protested, “he lives way across the city. How can he go home now?”

“The last train is at 1am. He can easily make it. I can’t let him stay, bottom line. Goodnight!”

At such a point many things could have popped into my head. Would I reach home on time? Would I reach home safe? What if I don’t reach before my hostel main door is locked?

But the only thought that washed those away, obviously, was “My clothes!!!”

I was speechless for a minute, thinking how I would survive in minus ten degrees celsius with shorts. All I had was my underwear (luckily), my shoes and my winter jacket. Quite an interesting situation, don’t you think? There was no option, we raided madam’s cupboard to find some decent-enough clothing, while we cursed the kommendant for his time-keeping. The winners were a long-sleeved t-shirt which looked like something a boy could wear, a dark blue jean pant which only came upto my ankles (looked like a bloody three-fourth denim pant) and a pair of white socks (or should I say mini-socks).

I was aware that I didn’t have time. If I would miss the last train, I would either have to walk home (which would take at least an hour) or I would look like a cross-dressing beggar on the streets of St.Petersburg. Hence, I didn’t protest about the clothing.

All I said as I left was, “See you in church tomorrow”

And all she said was, “Please wear something different”

Yes, the woman had a sense of humour and so did the hundreds of people who walked by me on my way to the underground metro station. I got more attention than the hot girl with a short skirt and high heels standing with a cigarette in her hand by the curb. The train driver, too, noticed me standing at the platform while the train approached. I was so baffled that I thought I heard him say, “The doors are closing. Please be careful. Next stop – Vladimirskaya. What the hell was the guy who entered the train wearing?”

Well, I reached in time at my hostel. Luckily for me, very luckily indeed, there were six more guys in my room including my roommate. They were watching a movie. When I entered, they were in awe. One guy didn’t notice a thing, some were laughing, one of them said, “what kind of socks are those?” and another even said, “Damn, I need to try this.”

If you come back...

I came across an interesting statistic a while back. It said that around 60-70 % of the romantic pop songs in the past two decades have come from boy-bands and girl-bands. I guess groups like the Backstreet boys, Spice girls, Boyzone, Michael Learns to Rock are responsible for most of it. Even recently, many new bands have come up with some really excellent tracks. Blue, Westlife are just some of them.

So, another romantic song by a boy-band. This wasn't one of the famous tracks but it was well appreciated. A beautiful song! My 'song of the moment'.



"If You Come Back"
- Blue

For all this time I've been lovin' you girl
Oh yes I have
And ever since the day you left me here alone
I've been trying to find, oh, the reason why

So if I did something wrong please tell me
I wanna understand
'Cause I don't want this love to ever end

And I swear
If you come back in my life
I'll be there till the end of time
(Come back to me, Come back to me, Back into my life)
And I swear
I'll keep you right by my side
'Cause baby, you're the one I want
(Come back to me, Come back to me, Back into my life)
Oh yes you are

I watched you go
You've taken my heart with you
Oh yes you did
Every time I tried to reach you on the phone
Baby you're never there, girl you're never home

Vibration-frequency densitometer

The following is a brief translated version of my Bachelors project.

Densitometers are instruments which are used to measure the density of the liquid they are immersed in. They can be of the following types: mass, hydrostatic, radio-isotopic and vibrational. Their function is to constantly measure density and hence they play a very important role in modern fuel equipment. The following densitometer is a vibration-frequency densitometer which measures the density with the help of the Wiedemann effect and is used on board most commercial aircrafts.

The fuel tanks of an aircraft are usually situated inside the wings, under the fuselage and in the tail assembly. The densitometer(7) is located in the lower section of these tanks. They also contain several ultrasonic probes(2,3,4), which are connected to a micro processing unit(10) along with the densitometer. The micro processing unit uses the readings from the probes and the densitometer to calculate the speed of sound and mass of the fuel. It also converts the resultant density with the help of the analog-digital converter and indicates the density of the fuel on one of the cockpit indicators(11). The accurate measurement of density inside the fuel tank depends upon the amount of water and other particles mixed with the fuel. This brings into question the purity of the fuel. Hence, the better the quality of the aviation fuel, the better the accuracy of the densitometer.

The construction of the vibration-frequency densitometer includes a sensor, which measures the change in density of the fuel and proportionally vibrates. A mechanical resonator, which can either be a single tube or the cylinder, acts as a sensor through which the fuel flows. The tube begins to vibrate as a result of the change in density and gradually reaches a resonant frequency. The whole densitometer is coated with a layer of aluminum. A wound coil along with an attached magnet in the central portion of the densitometer help form the mechanical resonant system and make sure the device remains stable and accurate for longer periods. The resultant resonant frequencies are calculated by the surrounding electronic devices.

The Wiedemann effect – This is a magnetostrictive phenomenon where a magnetic field gets divided into two perpendicular fields: spiral and tangential, which create an electric current within the rod. The potential difference of the rod due to the current is proportional to the spiral moment.

The schematic representation of the entire fuel measuring system includes the sensing element of the densitometer, which is connected to a phase detector. The detector measures the resultant vibrations and its frequencies. A generator acts as a regulating medium between the phase detector and an amplifier. The phase detector compares the signal from the sensor with the feedback signal from the generator, which passes through an integrator. The resulting signal goes through a micro processing unit, as mentioned before and then is shown on the indicator.

The use of different fuels around the world means that their densities will vary. The following two diagrams show the similarities in the signals but the difference in their frequencies. In the first signal diagram, the input fuel is TS-1, used only in Russia, which has a density of 780 grams per cubic centimeter. The second diagram shows the fuel Jet A, used in USA, India and many other countries, which has a density of 840 grams per cubic centimeter.

All in all, the densitometer is a very important part of the fuel system, but the vibration-frequency densitometer has some disadvantages. The surrounding temperature effects the densitometer’s readings and factors like contamination increase the error.

The advantages of such a densitometer are: the vibrational method of measuring the density is much more efficient than other methods, this type of densitometer reduces the error due to viscosity and it’s static error is not more than 0.2%