Pessimism

Because true conservatives are pessimists, they are happier than liberals, for three reasons. First, pessimists are rarely surprised. Second, when they are wrong they are delighted to be so. Third, pessimists do not put their faith in princes-in government. They understand that happiness is a function of fending for oneself. Happiness is an activity; it is inseparable from the pursuit of happiness.

- George F Will
Pulitzer prize-winning author and columnist.

Love 101

This is just the mid-term

I. Do as directed (or else?) Fill in the blanks or answer the following with one of the three choices:

1. The number of fights in the first month is directly proportional to ____________. (the square of the dumb conversations, the exact level of understanding when nobody talks, the number of times you have fallen off the bed)

2. What is the exact amount of liquor needed to get the truth out of him/her?
a)2 gallons plus what he/she will puke.
b)half a litre more than the tears shed in the past eight months of the relationship.
c)Who the f**k is sober enough to measure?

3. What does the time period of a relationship depend upon?
a) How long you can stop staring at other singles.
b) How many times you say "I Love you...now let's go to bed" before you get drunk.
c) How good you are where it really matters. (wink)

4. Love me for a reason, let the reason be _______. (Money, Sex, all of the above)

5. What is the minimum number of people it takes to screw up a relationship?
a) Including in-laws?
b) Zero.
c) The Lord of the Flings plus the fellowship of the affirs plus the two flowers plus the bloody returning king who has Harry's wand.

6. The instrument that is used to measure love is called _______. (Foot-ruler, Spank-o-meter, Infrared that also checks number of hickies)

7. Love is _______. (Invisible, The "Him and Her" sections of my blog, the best feeling you get when you are blind)

8. Every couple has an equal and opposite _______. (swinger-couple, charge - I mean money, possess-assessissuss-iveness factor)

9. When two people fall in love that are admitting to being ______. (insanely horny, out-of-mind and out-of-money, ready to be raped)

10. Which of the following are true chronologically:
a)Fall in Love - Have a kid - Get married - Stay away from each other - Become friends - Cheat on each other
b) Become friends - Get married - Have a kid - Fall in love - Stay away from each other
c) Have a kid - Get married - Stay away from each other


If you think I have copied the above exam, then you can _______. (Try to "love" yourself, drink n shut up n drive, kiss my brown ass)

Daughtry - Crashed

Take your pick. An excellent track.

The first one is with a NASCAR video, which I must say is well choreographed. :P



The second video is with scenes from Spidey -3, the song doesn't end well though. :P

Problem

When there exists a problem between two people, it is not only necessary but critical that those two individuals identify and acknowledge the problem. I feel that the stages in identifying a problem between two is the same as the stages of grief, more or less.

Stage 1: Denial
Both parties will usually tend to deny that the problem actually exists. They run, they hide.

Stage 2: Anger
Both parties will feel angry at the situation and will try to blame it on the other. This part also exacerbates the problem and puts them in an even bigger rut.

Stage 3: Bargaining
The basic "you do this for me" dialogues are said which sometimes hurt the other party. Life and relationships are not about bargaining. They never are. But yes, they are about compromise and understanding.

Stage 4: Depression
Both parties get lost in the abyss of sadness and uniscence. This depressed state of affairs leaves too many wounds to heal.

Stage 5: Acceptance
After days, or months, or years of self-argument, you realize that there is a bloody problem. What you should have realized a while ago, dawns upon you now. The question remains, is it too late?

The two people can tackle a problem together or run from it. They could bring in a third person for some more insights and perspectives or they could bring in the eight hundredth and fourth person for his advice. Nothing will be solved unless both of them admit and accept. Unless they understand each other and their point of views. Unless they realize what wrong has been done. Unless they make an effort.

The two people I am talking about are just two people. They are not your boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents, sons, daughters. They are just two human beings between whom a problem exists. Now, how they choose to approach it is up to themselves.

LOL

I worked as an instructor over the summer and I could not have been happier. I love teaching and always will. It's something I always want to continue doing. My students are seniors in high school and unfortunately, or fortunately, I was teaching them anatomy. Here are some recapped moments.

Me: In which sport are the muscles of the arm used the most?
Student: Chess!

--------------------------

Student: So, Mr.AJ, what did you do over the weekend?
Me: I was grading your papers and I also spent some time with friends.
Student: What kind of friends?
Me: Ummm.... the good kind.
Student: I mean, do you have a girlfriend?
Me: Let's get back to the lecture, shall we?
Student: That's a "yes"!

-------------------------------

Me: What do you want to become after you graduate college?
Student: A stripper!
Me: I'm serious.
Student: So am I. It's going to be my night job. I don't know what I want to do during the day yet.

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Student: (answers to a written question) Babies have 300 bones because they haven't fused together yet, while humans have 206 after fusion occurs.
Me: I underline babies and humans.

--------------

Me: (written) What are the muscles that surround your heart called?
Student: (written) Cardeyack muscles.

----------------------


Me: Did she give you the notes?
Student: She said she hadn't written nothing.
Me: That's a negative negative. You can't use a negative negative. It implies the positive.
Student: That ain't true!

Either....Or

Either I have lost the will to blog, or I have no time on my hands.

Either I have nothing to blog about, or that's my latest excuse.

Either I have too much going on in my life, or I think it is.

Either I am living in my own world, or I have lost reasoning.

Either everything around me is perfect, or it's too good to be true.

Him and Her - 2

Her: Do you think we’ll get married?

Him: I’ll answer that on the day I marry you.

Her: How many kids do you think we’ll have?

Him: Before or after we’re married?

Her: You really know how to kill the mood, don’t you?

Wrong Number

At 7.30pm, I called a friend who is here in USA. I hadn't spoken to her for a long time on the phone. Went to my address book, clicked on her name and dialed the number. A low, squeaky voice answers
"Hmm"
"So rahe hai kya?" (Are you sleeping?), I asked.

Her reaction to that was a bunch of loud thuds. The signal was bad, couldn't hear her properly.
I hung up.

Later that night, I met her online and asked, "Do you know that I called you today, or are you still in your sleep?"
"When did you call me?" she asked.
"Around 7.30pm"
"No you didn't" she exclaimed confidently.
"Wait, I'll check"

As I checked the number I had dialed, I noticed a +91 as a prefix.
"Shit! Who has your cell in India?" I asked.
"My mother"

As soon as she said this, we both started laughing. I was feeling terribly sorry that I had woken up her mom at such an hour. It might have been around 6am there.

Later she explained to her mom what had happened and vowed to pull my leg on this subject for eternity. Her mom actually thought I was a drunk calling to harass her.

Maybe my voice has that natural tone. Sorry aunty!

( 30th July update - And now she has blogged about it too!! in a much better way, apart from all the exaggerations and leg-pulling!! )

I turn to you

There are a variety of people in life with you. Your family, your friends, your relatives, your family friends, your classmates, your colleagues, your cheddi-dosts and langotya yaars, the cricket-buddies, the hang-out dudes, your support-system, your unofficial brothers and sisters. The list and categorization can go on forever. Some may qualify for more than one category. Even though everyone doesn’t like categorizing, the fact is that it does exist.

No matter how many people you know in life, when crunch time comes, who will you turn to? No category will define anything on judgement day.

When those closest to you can’t understand what you are going through, do you turn to someone else?

What if they, too, are going through something that you can’t follow?

Do you wait for each other, or do you turn to someone else?

Even though it’s frustrating, would you actually be patient and wonder if you’ll ever get the good old days back?

No matter how much you try, why can’t you understand and feel “exactly” what the other person is feeling when they lose someone important?

Why do you feel like not staying in touch with people you will never see again in you lifetime?

Why do people turn their spinal cords towards you when it is their turn to help you out?

Why do people not understand that life is too short to stay mad at each other for long?

Why do we have second thoughts about naming a relationship, the first of its kind?

Him and Her - 1

Him: Nice party, huh?

Her: Yeah. It’s pretty boring.

Him: So, you’re Amy’s best friend, right? The one from Ohio?

Her: Yeah. How did you know?

Him: She told me that you would be the most beautiful girl I find in the room.

Her: (blushes)