Well, I am going to be 24 this December. If another kid calls me uncle, I will castrate him.
I need to fix some terminology.
Call your parents' brother uncle, not me. I am not old.
Old is when an "all nighter" means not having to get up to pee.
Old is when you are cautioned to go slow by the doctor, not the police.
Old is when your wife tells you, "Honey, let's go upstairs and make love" and you reply "Sweetheart, I can't do both".
OK. In all seriousness, I was freaked when I turned twenty. I was no longer a teenager anymore. The twenties brings some really heavy-duty words to mind like "Job","Marriage".
Every guy has his share of marriage-phobia. Every guy gets cold feet. It's just a matter of how he deals with it. If he has the prefect girl alongside him, then it gets easier. But that doesn't mean he doesn't get cold feet.
It is true that love is blind, but marriage is definitely the eye-opener. Before marriage, you dream of growing old together. After marriage, you wonder who will die first. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
We learn about these things called "love","relationships" when we are around 15,sweet 16. But we really start to understand them when we reach the 18-20 phase. Most men get married when then are 26-27 and most women when they are 24-25. That gives every man roughly 8-9 years and every woman 6-7 year to find their better half. Wow, I love statistics. Numbers never lie. How can one find the one person out of millions in such a short span? There might be a time in the future when people look for the right person for 20-30 years and end up spending 7-8 years of married life. That would be wierd, though. Imagine a 50-year old man standing at the alter saying his vows, "I searched 8 countries for you, even Ethiopia. But the 30 years of my life that I dedicated to finding you were worth it." Then the woman replies, "Sorry honey! I forgot my hearing aid."
"By the power of God, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You might not have a 25-year anniversary, unless both of you trust medicine. Good luck trying to get pregnant. You may now wear your dentures and kiss the bride."
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5 comments:
This is the most unoriginal blog post I've ever read. It reeks of plagiarized phrases and one-liners that are scattered over millions of websites, right down to the last line.
The bare minimum you could have got right, was spelling Ethiopia correctly.
u already getting marriage-phobia????
i tawt u spent most of your tym dedicated to aeronautical engg n the engines of big eagles!!!!
Now im forced to think most of ur intense densitometer studies were based on the frequency of name-calling...........
AND i think old is wen u'd rather hav a catheter stuffed up your behind than want to get up in the middle of the nyt to pee [:)]
1. remember u once called a bearded person on the berth in front of your's in a train "uncle". how i wish he'd thrashed u then! :P
2. "Honey, let's go upstairs and make love" and you reply "Sweetheart, I can't do both"....haha.. i'm imagining u telling that to ur wife and that answering the question: After marriage, you wonder who will die first. :P
3. marriage-phobia (mp)! i wasn't in a relationship when i turned 20, but, i never had mp! u probably r cuz of "some other" reason. can u be more frank, please? :P ;-)
anonymous - If I wanted to pass the one-liners as mine, I wouldn't have used the top 20 one-liners which are easily accessible online. Also, do let me know where exactly you have read the other stuff, especially the last two paragraphs. I would like to see who is stealing my material.
Bernadette - I am not getting marriage-phobia. Just trying to think whether I will react the way I am expected to react when the time comes. And yeah, it's true about the catheter. LOL
Satish - 1. Done it many times to people who didn't deserve to be called "uncle". Now it's my turn I guess.
2. My wife will drag me up the stairs and kill me in bed. :P
3. I too have never had marriage phobia. But sometimes I think it's because I have never really been hours away from getting married. My statements are based on experiences, rumours and irresponsible people making hasty decisions. I hope men like you and me will squash the theory.
uncle, marriage phobia, getting old, catheter!! whats wrong with u man..so what if a 20 something blonde u were trying to hit on called u an uncle!! hahaha
Bernadette: catheter is not stuck up anyone's behind :P
oh and marriage phobia comes when u have multiple girlfriends and cant decide which one to get serious with (if at all..) ;)
my 2 cents: getting old is when ur memories are greater than ur dreams..(i dont remember where i stole that from..)
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