Phone-a-friend

The following conversations took place in the last few weeks :

Friend 1: Ashwin Jadhav, when are you coming here (India)?
Me: Soon.
Friend 1: That’s what I’ve been hearing for the past 4 months.
Me: Oh. Then, sooner than that.

Friend 2: Hey, come to India soon so that you can ask me out.
Me: Why bother? You will say ‘no’.
Friend 2: At least get your ass here so that I can say ‘no’ to your face.

Friend 3: When are you planning to come here (another country)?
Me: Maybe around the 1st or 2nd week of *******.
Friend 3: Ashwin, if you come here and not talk to me or ignore me….?
Me: Then…then what?
Friend 3: … I’ll hit you!

Friend 4: When are you finishing?
Me: Soon.
Friend 4: Are you doing a project for your Bachelors or your PhD? Why is this taking so long?
Me: The project’s complicated dude. It involves a lot research and it’s rarely used in today’s aircrafts.
Friend 4: If you screw it up this time, I’ll find a job, just so that I could fly to St.Petersburg and kick your ass.

Friend 5: Good Morning. How are you? Hope to see you here next week.
Me: I’m good. How are you doing? Next week? No ways!
Friend 5: Bitch! You better tell me when you are coming for sure right now.

People are so 'nice' now-a-days. Just a simple "I miss you" would have been enough.